Do you ever think about what kind of parent you are? Do you compare how you 'actual parent' compared to the idea you had of parenting before you had children or when you started. Many of us, are not the parents we set out to be, not in a bad way, just different. Parenting can bring out qualities in us that we never knew we had, maybe we are softer, maybe harder than we expected, but one thing is true, we all love our children (even on the tiring, difficult days) and sometimes we have to do difficult things that require something extra from us as parents. And in these times it can make us re-examine what kind of parents we are or aspire to be. We are not perfect parents, no-one is, as much as we try, but we are the damn best we can be. I am in a situation where I need that 'something extra' as a parent to do something which is difficult for me, but in the best interests of my daughter in the long run.
My daughter had hip dysplasia when she was a baby, they found it on her 7 week check, but it wasnt bad but she had to wear a harness for a few weeks and then was checked regularly until she was over 2yrs old and everything seems to be corrected and going the right way. Now she is 5 and she is a bit pigeon-toed, so we have taken her to an orthopedic doctor and her treatment is to wear orthopedic boots on a bar which holds her feet in an outward position to correct her hips, but only at night. Which basically means she wont be able to move much, turn over or curl up.
Now I know this is not the end of the world and much worse things could happen, but it's hard to see my baby in this situation and the discomfort at the beginning she will be in. I know she will cry, she will ask me to take it off, say it hurts and all I will be able to do is offer her my 'mother's comfort' and make it as best I can and I have to be a stronger and more patient parent in these early days until things settle down and it becomes normal.
It's horrible to see your child in any form or pain or discomfort - but I think that in that you've written this shows what sort of parent you are - a fantastic one. Both my kids have orthotics (insoles) for their shoes, have to wear boots instead of school shoes, go to physio and a load of other stuff. We deal with it: find the next gear, even when I think there are no more gears left. Their courage, determination and sheer humour make me very proud of how they cope - I hope you'll be proud of your daughter too.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to see our children suffer in anyway. My daughter needs regular care for renal issues. It's been 9 years now and at every appointment I worry that treatment is not working and she will need to do more tests that cause discomfort.
ReplyDeleteBecoming a parent really is amazing, before children I never would have imagined loving someone so much that you would do almost anything just to ensure they are happy and healthy. I was also unprepared for the years of worry and stress :)
I hope you find that strength you need while your daughters issues are corrected.