I am not a person to play computer games, of any kind except solitaire or the like. I learned very early on that I suck at them and they really dont interest me. Whatever time I have left after taking care of my children I really dont want to spend playing games.
I think in my mind I want to get the best 'value' for my time, which is usually a couple of hours after bedtime or some time during school days, so the thought of playing games is a waste of that time. I dont read books, I would rather read a magazine, I dont watch movies, because they are too long, I would rather watch several shows in the time I could watch a movie. To me that is making better use of my time, getting more into it or 'out of it' if you like.
My husband on the other hand loves playing games, all kinds of games, especially strategy games. Lately he has been playing several different games on facebook, which is something that I watch him do from time to time but never really wanted to try. Usually I find it boring and its a 'sleep tonic' for me.
But for whatever reason, the other day I started playing one of them and now I am totally hooked. Im not very good at them and it takes me ages to move along, effectively making me play the same thing over and over, but its so addictive! And so frustrating at the same time. But its that need to improve and be better at something. because I know if I keep doing it, I will get it. And to be honest, Im not a person who likes to fail at things and then keep repeating the same thing, I am more of a giver-upper, so in a way I think this is good behaviour to hone. And somehow feels good, or maybe thats just the feeding of the addiction!
How long this behaviour will last who knows, but I hope this new determined, mindful behaviour will continue. But along side of this 'need' to play, of course comes 'the guilt' that almost every mother feels, usually on a regular basis for not devoting every second to their family and doing something for themselves.